Now in the beginning most couples enjoy a healthy combination of both romance and sex. Then, later in the relationship it starts to slide in two different directions. Men want more sex, less romance. Women want more romance before even thinking about sex.
The struggle begins.
There can be a good balance although this is not always easy to do. It requires effort on both parties in order for it to work and for the couple to be together in a smooth kind of compatibility. Yet it seems that in some sense, once we can agree on compromise; it comes in the most inconvenient way. Let me explain.
The man feels a little guilty. So in order to make amends he starts to avoid the sex subject altogether and starts to focus on romance. Meanwhile, the woman is feeling a little guilty too and is trying to become a little more exciting for her man.
And by this time she is all worked up and is ready for LOVE. He is all shined up and ready for creating meaningful moments.
Then the two meet and once again they collide. The wires are crossed. Things get a little messy when opposing wills are matched. These are agendas with which a lot of time and effort is needed to build into the mind-set. They are not so easily rearranged. Nothing like an on and off switch. With all the emotions building up it becomes a recipe for disaster.
The woman by this time is wanting to be ravished and is feeling sexy. The man is not there yet and is trying for something completely different. So he avoids and declines the advances. This is not good. They begin to argue. Then the man is wondering what went wrong and why he cannot do anything right. Because she does not know what she wants.
The dilemma enters taking center stage.
So both wants what the other initially wanted.
The one thing needed and that would fix this whole scenario, is just good, plain, honest communication. If you remember what it was like before you found each other; a whole lot of other simple understandings remind you of how much better it is to be in a relationship as opposed to the dating scene.
Remember what finding love was like back when you were single and searching for it. When ever you are looking for it, it is nowhere to be found. At least not where you are looking. Once you stop searching for it and are too busy, then it is everywhere you are. This is a similar ordeal. The trick is to stop trying so hard and just do what comes natural. Be yourself but with a little more straight forward speaking. Speak up about what it is you want and be as clear as you can.
Just say something very casually like, “Look, I want more elegance with a little more magic and I do not want to see it coming. Which means not right now, but when it comes to you. Try to wine and dine me a little bit.” The hints cannot be subtle so they need to be straight forward.
So, ladies should be careful not to expect too much without saying something first. Again, you have to be very clear. And guys will not have to say anything if you follow the advice and put your whole heart into it.
The bottom line is it does not have to be all romance all the time. A relationship built on sex is not going to last long. Just try to understand that there is more to a person that you think. When the moments come, let them come naturally.
Sex and romance needs a canvas in which to come to life on. This is what would be known as the emotional environment and the mental setting. Finding the right balance means finding what means the most and what you both enjoy together.